Hello Everyone, my name is Dr. Uchenna Kole-James, Pharmacist and founder of Phun On the Pharm. Today we are beginning our 3rd week of mastering positive change in our relationships.
This is Day 17 of our 30-day September Challenge to Mastering Positive Change in our health, our selves, and our relationships! Yes, I said it I will be here every evening during the month of September at 9:30p every single evening. Please join me, I have some amazing things to share with you! I can’t wait!
During this month, we are going to discuss how mastering your health, yourself, and your relationships are essential to you living your best life!
Name and email into the study guide so you can follow along with us throughout the entire month!
This month it’s all about our relationships. Our interactions with the others in our lives.
If you could rate your relationships in your life, what would your number be?
Relationship with kids, parents, spouse, etc. how would you rate them?
It’s important to note that: Relationships are the path to living longer and being happier.
Mastering Positive Change!
Studies show that people who were the most happy and showed the fewest signs of depression were “their strong ties to friends and family and commitment to spending time with them.
For the purpose of this week, we’re going to be talking about the significant others in our life. Our husbands, wives, partners, loved ones, whomever that may be.
Every relationship requires work, sacrifice, and communication and love to be successful.
I don’t know where you are in your relationship, but it’s important to understand that it is destructive to believe that “if we need to work at it, there’s something seriously wrong with our relationship.”
A no-effort relationship is a doomed relationship, not a great relationship.
It takes work to communicate accurately and it takes work to find out and resolve conflicting hopes and beliefs.
They lived worked happily ever after!
I’m not going to judge you. Everybody is in a different situation. I am giving you tools to implement positive change.
When people with a fixed mindset see flaws in their partners, they become condescending and demeaning towards them and dissatisfied with the whole relationship.
People with a growth mindset sees their partners flaws and imperfections and still think they have a fine relationship.
4 Ways to have more a growth mindset about your relationship:
1. Bring back the energy and the joy into your relationship.
When you two first started dating, I’m sure you dated more, you flirted more, you texts each other throughout the day. What happened? You have to keep that up.
Re-evaluate why you stopped flirting again. Amplify the flirtation. Flirt with your spouse a little more. Check out my free video training series on Mastering Positive Change In Your Health
Have a 7 day challenge, for the rest of this week, flirt with your spouse more. Set a trigger on your phone every day at 11a send sexy text to spouse. Bring back the energy, the teasing, the flirting…Maybe you even get some more sex. I’m dorky, I like to flirt and laugh with my spouse. Some of y’all are like, “He doesn’t deserve it” yes he does, you married him. It’s time to humble your heart. You might as well try and make both y’all miserable asses happier.
2. Give your spouse the benefit of the doubt.
If the house is messy when you get home, instead of saying what have they been doing all day, they’re so lazy, ask how their day was, and see where you could help. Unless you know you have a total deadbeat for a spouse. Most couples want their relationship to work out, they just might not know how. They’re tired, the kids are exhausting, they have deadlines. It’s us not you and not me…us.
Reframe the way you think about your spouse. What will serve this relationship better?
3. Schedule time and recovery with your partner spouse lover.
Allows you to recover and reconnect. Get rid of the kids for a couple days. Schedule time to have magical memories with people. – Laugh your ass off. Make love. It’s not always about the business. Success habit – date night one day per week.
Some people need a lot of praise. Many people don’t feel appreciated in their relationships. Don’t feel valued, competent. Gotta be your lovers #1 cheerleader. That’s your job. Champion of your lover. Daily praise to your partner. A more positive person, more positive relationship. Sounds like a tough day, you’re awesome after having a tough day. Give the praise people.
Have to be more consistent, consistent is mastery.
“See you tomorrow, until then self-love yourself, what is more important than you?!”